Bits of Heart on Scraps of Paper

Once in a while I come across a line of thought scribbled down on a piece of scrap paper, generally folded up and stained blue from the inside of a dark wash denim pocket. One bearing the following thoughts came to light recently, and I feel like God's been laying it on my heart to share. I only remember writing this vaguely, and can't authoritatively say what or why I was writing, but it was written, so here it is...with very limited edits made. actually, I just fixed two or three word things. Punctuation intact...mostly.

I'm learning about limitations. I see with clarity all too clear that I cannot choose to have a talent. I cannot make myself eloquent, witty, or well known. I can't will my voice to sound sweeter, my face to be prettier, or my body to be graceful. Schedule and plan as I may, I cannot make my life look fuller. There is much in my life that I myself cannot influence or change- no matter how much I pine, whine, or try. There is nothing in me that makes me able to change or influence those things. They are beyond me.

However- I can choose to cling to the Cross of my King. I can love the One who first loved me. I can trust that He's near when I feel alone and lonely. I can willfully surrender my dreams. I can know that He is good when my whole life feels wrong. In facing the painful truths attached to what I am not,cannot and never could be, I'm learning about the things that I am and can be... things that God has given me that have nothing to do with myself. I've come to the conclusion that I should not be "settling" for the life that God has given me. There is a huge mass of things in my life that I am completely undeserving of. I should cherish the life I've been given for the value of the Truth that it holds.

 If this is all that I can be, then I will be this with all of my might-with every ounce of me there is to be with, and with every moment that I have to surrender. My goal is the Glory of my God...not to obtain, but to magnify. Not to gain, but surrender. Not to "settle," but to dwell- and to live richly in His grace....that's all.