Writer's Block

I should really be writing a paper right now. To be shamelessly honest I could actually choose any one of three to be working on and not go wrong. I just have a very selective case of writer's block...one that applies to anything and everything scholastic. The unfortunate thing about this very bad case of writer's block is that I've had it for a little over a week now, so now all of the things that I was going to be ahead on are just on schedule instead. Blast. Based on my somewhat apathetic attempts to work around said writer's block, I've realized that I experience this malady in varied phases. I thought I'd throw a few out there in case anybody ever experienced similar feelings and wanted something to resonate with. They are as follows:
1. The Jet Lag Phase:
This is the phase where, due to semester induced jet-lag; the writer cannot remember how to write. In my case, this presented in the hours before an appointment with the history writing center and was particularly awful, as I knew exactly what I wanted to communicate, but couldn't remember how to make a paragraph. The horror of this realization was capped by the moment of clarity wherein I saw the awful truth- I couldn't remember how to construct a sentence either. I did manage to salvage the idea that I needed a capital letter at the beginning, but couldn't seem to choose a good one to start my paper with. The jet-lag phase may linger throughout any and all of the following phases, and may actually aggravate some of them just the tiniest bit. This became evident for me when in the next phase (commiseration) I couldn't get a phrase out of my mouth without horribly mangling it somehow.

2. Commiseration:
This is where you complain to your friends about your writer's block. In my case, the audience of my complaints contributed directly to the next phase- Brainstorming.

3. Brainstorming/spit balling/ what-have-you:
During this phase, you face the reality that regardless of your inability to write reasonable arguments, somebody who has control over your grade wants anywhere from 4 to 12 pages of logical discourse. So you do the most logic thing there is do to- you grasp at straws. As I hinted before, the audience that I chose to complain to was the helpful sort, and (as a moderately sized, under-caffeinated group) we began to attack my writer's block with a brainstorm. The end result was a beautiful list of words that rhyme with the word "pope." Literally.We did momentarily toy with idea of making the list into a song that I could turn in as a replacement for the paper, but when "song" turned into "rap," I knew the chances of my professor overlooking my lack of paper in favor of our charming list had sunk below impossible...which is unfortunate...it was a good list.

4. The Runaway/Gold Digger Phase:
This ugly phase has the nerve to show it's face on occasion...generally when I'm in absolute despair over generating an assignment worthy of keeping my GPA at an acceptable level. It is in this phase that some of my most fantastic schemes are schemed- I'd list a few but they're generally far too detailed to be a sub-point in a list such as this one. These plans typically have to do with moving away, adventuring in some out of the way, rocky, dusty spot, starting a florist business, or most recently- a momentary ( literally 15 second) lapse into thinking that maybe I should just ditch the paper, school, and goals to become a gold digger...which might work if it didn't go against pretty much everything I believe about how people should be treated. It also conflicts with my dislike of money and deep fear of essentially being incarcerated in a giant house, surrounded by expensive furniture and a tiny blinged-out dog. My skin crawls even thinking about it. Mostly due to the tiny dog, but the overall opulence is off-putting as well.

5. Actually giving up:
Not a viable option, and therefore not worthy of discussion here.

6. Staring at the computer screen, (or frequently in my case, scrap of paper,) hoping that inspiration will strike:
Self- explanatory.

7. Avoidance:
This beloved phase is when the blocked writer can actually legitimize not writing...for a while. It can be done through "prioritizing" other activities, conveniently missing crucial materials and resources (web documents and archives are making this increasingly more and more difficult,) or just outright "working" on something else...like a blog about why they can't write their research paper just now.

8. Changing Direction Mid-stream
This comes at the point when you are sitting on the living room floor, surrounded by scraps of paper and books written on your topic, and realize that you have absolutely nothing to say about the very thing that you have been reading on for weeks. You start thinking about things that your classmates are writing on, and how nice it would be if only you had something so fantastic to write about. You may actually reach the point where you send a desperate email, or accost your professor after class, pleading for the chance to change topics...or majors. I would not recommend succumbing to this one. Just come to terms with the fact that there is nothing new under the sun, you are not writing a dissertation (unless you are...in which case your problem is bigger than writer's block,) and the task you were assigned was to write a paper- not be the most brilliant student ever to study anything ever.

9. The Void
This demeaning phase is characterized by "nothingness." It usually takes the writer hostage during periods of acute exhaustion and is the period of time that one spends sitting, staring into space, thinking and doing nothing constructive. Or deconstructive. I just experienced this phase about 30 seconds ago.

10. The Unsmart Stage
This phase is easiest to work with, as one can still write. Unfortunately, it is also the phase where one cannot lay hands on a word longer than three letters. It is in this phase that I'm sure "Run, Spot! Run!" was written. Another manifestation is wordiness...which I'm most prone to. I've actually been doing it for most of this blog. This is more difficult for the untrained eye to identify, as the sufferer's vocabulary actually expands. In doing so, the writer sometimes causes the English language itself  to expand... I'm pretty sure that both Lewis Carrol and William Shakespeare suffered from this stage of writer's block. Other hallmarks are run-on sentences (see the rest of this blog or other samples of my writing for an example) and an inability to say anything concisely.

I could continue this list, but in doing so I'd be allowing Phase 7 too much of a foothold. Consequently, I'll end immediately (and somewhat abruptly) so as not to further the problem.
The End.

Words of Wisdom, Fall 2011

Disclaimer: On occasion I forget to, or maybe opt not to write down the name of a quote's crafter. That said, if you find that I have quoted you and not given credit, I'd be glad to change that. Please advise me as to which quote is yours and I'd be delighted oblige! Also, if you find that you are credited with a quote you would rather not recieve credit for, the same pretty much applies. You may notice that for somebody who says so many ridiculous things, I don't include a huge quantity of personal quotations. This is because things said by myself are generally included only at the insistence of others, or as anonymous contributions. Want the same immunity? Write your own quotes! Enough disclaimers. Words of Wisdom!

"Proselytizing is prohibited! As is sleeping!"

"I don't want to be a gold digger. Couldn't I dig something else?"


Shaena: "It (spider) was running really fast for something dead."
april: "Nah, that was just...rigor."

Manda: "You're etymologically awesome!"
Ben: "Yeah! Entymologically...somethin."

"Good try...heh heh... COMPLETELY wrong! Heh heh..." (Professor to student)

"I make it up...I'd encourage you guys to do the same."

"I wrote a LOT in the syllabus! This is like a magnificent work of fiction!"

"I've been studying like a...zombie."

I''m not even sure what this is, but it's tense."

"It's very difficult to be just a normal, crazy monk who just lives by himself."

"It would be really scary if Robin Williams were anywhere in the building."

"Soap opera is essential to human survival."

"You will end up dead, or in a monastery."

"One of the ways that we can tell Goths apart from Romans is that Goths have GREAT names."

"I'm serious...in a kidding way."

"Why are you laughing for no reason?"

A: "Nobody think about anything!"
D: "I'm not thinking about cake."

"Everything that everybody has said is additionally true."

"Does anybody know Matthew? Aside from the people that know him?"

"What I want to do is orally take notes on these."

"Most of what I say is useless."

"Imagine that, but they don't burn them. Or set them on fire."

"I'm not competitive. I just like to fight."

"I used my crafty, crafty cunning. But it was an accident."

Bits of Heart on Scraps of Paper

Once in a while I come across a line of thought scribbled down on a piece of scrap paper, generally folded up and stained blue from the inside of a dark wash denim pocket. One bearing the following thoughts came to light recently, and I feel like God's been laying it on my heart to share. I only remember writing this vaguely, and can't authoritatively say what or why I was writing, but it was written, so here it is...with very limited edits made. actually, I just fixed two or three word things. Punctuation intact...mostly.

I'm learning about limitations. I see with clarity all too clear that I cannot choose to have a talent. I cannot make myself eloquent, witty, or well known. I can't will my voice to sound sweeter, my face to be prettier, or my body to be graceful. Schedule and plan as I may, I cannot make my life look fuller. There is much in my life that I myself cannot influence or change- no matter how much I pine, whine, or try. There is nothing in me that makes me able to change or influence those things. They are beyond me.

However- I can choose to cling to the Cross of my King. I can love the One who first loved me. I can trust that He's near when I feel alone and lonely. I can willfully surrender my dreams. I can know that He is good when my whole life feels wrong. In facing the painful truths attached to what I am not,cannot and never could be, I'm learning about the things that I am and can be... things that God has given me that have nothing to do with myself. I've come to the conclusion that I should not be "settling" for the life that God has given me. There is a huge mass of things in my life that I am completely undeserving of. I should cherish the life I've been given for the value of the Truth that it holds.

 If this is all that I can be, then I will be this with all of my might-with every ounce of me there is to be with, and with every moment that I have to surrender. My goal is the Glory of my God...not to obtain, but to magnify. Not to gain, but surrender. Not to "settle," but to dwell- and to live richly in His grace....that's all.

Words of Wisdom Summer 2011

Disclaimer: On occasion I forget to, or maybe opt not to write down the name of a quote's crafter. That said, if you find that I have quoted you and not given credit, I'd be glad to change that. Please advise me as to which quote is yours and I'd be delighted oblige! Also, if you find that you are credited with a quote you would rather not recieve credit for, the same pretty much applies. You may notice that for somebody who says so many ridiculous things, I don't include a huge quantity of personal quotations. This is because things said by myself are generally included only at the insistence of others, or as anonymous contributions. Want the same immunity? Write your own quotes! Enough disclaimers. Words of Wisdom!


"Stuff is hard to say in general...that's why I don't say stuff very often."
-Ben Dykes

"Who is eating weeds? Oh, it's just the guy across the street."

"We demand that you care"
-Amanda Dykes

"Can I use your brain? (long pause, while a certain ex-roommate laughs hysterically) ...but really...can I use it now?" (concerned face)
-april dawne

Shaena: "Whay can't I be a super hero?"
April: "Seriously? What super hero is named 'The Googler?"

"We can all sit everywhere...at once."
-Amanda Dykes

"Cause there are always problems...sometimes."
-Cheyenne

"SAND can drown you! So can a podium." (Smug face, significant nod)
-Ben Dykes

"It's like a tempestuous...bush."

"There's nothing chivalrous about warm soda."
Ian Chase

"All relationships should start with a good game of (Dance1 Dance! Revolution.)"
-Shaena

"I'm freakishly tall, so people stare at me all day..."
Ian Chase

"The next time I see you, I hope you're more ethnic."

"Apparently my car can't be broken into properly."

"I never know what to say right now."

"Dang it! I didn't even know the ONE thing that I knew!"

"We're sitting in companionable silence! Well...we were..."

"(Being spit on) is the most amazing, strange experience..."
Ben Dykes

"Trespassing is one of the things I'm working on."

"This is an information dense class. This is like, STUFF!"

"There's a lot of writing and SOME thinking."

"you don't need to see the beautiful colors of my terrible maps."

Botany

Sometimes I pick dandelions. Sometimes, I leave them places for somebody to discover and be delighted by. Sometimes I give them away. Sometimes I keep them on the dash of my car....right next to my Dalek air freshener/navigation thing. Just recently, I've become increasingly committed to the  idea that dandelions are my favorite flower....this musement was the result of  somebody telling me that nobody cared if I picked them because they are weeds. Rather than pick a fight in my free time, I went off slightly indignant and significantly smug in my assurance that dandelions are indeed NOT weeds. Weeds are categorized as such because they are not wanted. Botanically speaking, a weed could be any plant at all, so long as SOMEBODY doesn't want them. I know, because the internet said so. Now I'm saying it on the internet, so it's extra true. Don't tell me that dandelions are weeds unless you have a genuine desire to cross blades with me. I won't believe you, and will quite likely make a significant fuss. At any rate, I have a point.

 I love dandelions because they're the underdog of the world of flora. I love them because they are one of the first signs of spring after long winter days, and one of the last vestiges of fall. For that I love their tenacity. I love that they thrive on little to no sustenance. They transform completely, they are prolific, and they're a  cheery yellow color. They don't need to be coddled, they don't have thorns, and they thrive in the face of direct opposition- all kinds of it. Herbicides, pre-emergent, lawn mowers, asparagus knives, and the unappreciative public in general. Why is it that rose bushes get so much attention? They have to be pruned, dusted, sprayed, irrigated, covered, and for all that, they still scratch people! Also they taste terrible. They smell nice and look pretty, though. Now don't get me wrong- if you've got somebody bringing you roses you officially have my envy. They're beautiful flowers and they have the fortunate family trait of being related to apples, so...that's good. Just so that it's been said, you should never, EVER eat florist roses, or roses that are chemically treated, or may have been chemically treated. So....organic's the way to go? Anyhow, just for the record, dandelions are actually consumable and are not uncommonly used for homeopathic whatnots....the chemical warning stands, though.

The history nerd in me is tempted to compare dandelions to Alexander the Great, and leave roses to signify Caligula, or Nero, or some overly oppulent, somewhat inept Roman ruler....like Commodus. For all that..I know that I personally am minded of a more significant comparison. As a Christian, I'm well aware that I tend to be a rose- concerned with appearances and wanting special treatment, but ultimately retaining (in  my mind) the right to scratch and prick at those who get too close. I want to be a dandelion. Content to be nothing, willing to be used for the benefit of others, prolific in the sharing of the love I've been given, and willing to be completely transformed for that purpose. That's all.

                                   "Be content to be nothing, for that is what you are."
                                                    -Oswald Chambers

                    "Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as true strength."
                                                           -DeSales