One of the sensational things about scripture is it's applicability. It’s pertinent, practical, and easily accessible. What’s more, the advice offered in books like Proverbs, James, and Hebrews is infallibly AWESOME. Way better than Trudy, or whoever the current advice column guru is.
The musement that brought me to this conclusion today in particular was over gossip, conflict, and how to scripturally approach somebody with whom you have a disagreement or concern. Are you ready for what I found? Are you? Having already read the book, I knew what I would find when I flipped back through to find these answers…but it didn’t make encountering them less awkward. So if you’re ready, then get more ready. We’re going to attack the problem with Swords drawn and hearts soft. Because that’s how it’s done.
People talk a lot. It’s one of those dangerous social activities that can potentially be a wonderful, pleasant, or at least harmless experience…but the more we do it the more dangerous we become in it. The more I talk to somebody, the more comfortable I feel with them, and the more prone I am to saying whatever comes to mind. There’s a reason that thoughts have to take a detour through the lungs and larynx before leaving the lips…hopefully in the time it takes to get there you’ll have thought things through enough to not say most of what you think. It’s better this way. Trust me.
However, in spite of generations of learning painful lessons about over-dosing on unhealthy conversation, we still seem perfectly willing to enter any conversation, any time, with no regard for safety precautions. If conversation were a boat, we’d have sunk in some wretched squall a long time ago…probably after trying to use Great-Grandad’s antique rowboat as a vessel of war. Consider what you say, and who you are saying it to. Are the words you’re about to say going to bless somebody, and point them to Jesus? When you listen, are you considering that person as well as their words?
You may have experienced the moment (as many of us have) when you’re out on a placid lake, enjoying a moment of companionship in your conversational row-boat, when WHAM! You start getting shelled. Where’d the attack come from? WHY did it happen? Do you pull your oars out the water to start whacking your conversational counterpart over the head, or is there another option? First of all, if you’re the one launching missiles, I’d advise you to stop. If truth must be spoken, then speak it in love (Ephesians 4:15). If you’re not sure whether or not you’re speaking in love, check your motivation. Is it to prove yourself right, defend yourself in some way, or make sure that somebody knows they’re wrong? If so, it’s not love. If you feel compelled to confront somebody out of concern for another’s well-being, growth, or spiritual welfare, then it’s more likely to be love. Love. That’s what I learned from my Bible search on how to handle gossip…initiate in love, speak in love, and respond in love. Not your love. God’s love. Point to Jesus. Share His love. That’s what you need to know.
It takes me a matter of seconds to type the word “love.” It takes infinitely more muscle, long-suffering, and heart to actually do it. Infinite. As in sourced outside of the finite. Since we have a beginning and end we are finite. You need somebody Infinite to get you what you need. Luckily, I know Somebody, and He’ll totally hook you up. You just have to ask.
God has given us specific instruction on how to confront other Christians in a private, non-broadcasting way when confrontation is necessary (Matthew 18:15). He has instructed us to forgive without implication when they repent (Luke 17:3). He has reminded us that we’re all in need of redemption and that we’ll all stand before Him to be judged (Romans 14:7-13). He’s taught us to turn the other cheek (Matthew 5:39) and give soft answers when we encounter another’s wrath (Proverbs 15:1).He told us that just as a fire dies when it is not fed, strife ceases where there is no talebearer. (Proverbs 26:20) We know that we are sinners, and no matter how much we try, we will continue to fall short. This does not take away His love, His blood, or His redemption. Remember that you are His and what He has cleansed, “you must not call ‘common.” (Acts 10:15) Remember that He loves you, that He loves the person you are speaking with or about, and that His Holy blood was spilled for both your sakes.
The thing that matters most in everything that we say or choose not to say, is our God. I feel like I echo Paul when I disclaim “Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.” (Philippians 3:12) I want to glorify God with my words and conversation as well as my thoughts, decisions, and actions. Join me in this, pray with me, and hold me accountable to this, please! Just speak the truth in love when I fall short, yeah?
the end.
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